There are certain things I just wasn’t allowed to do as a kid: I couldn’t watch Rugrats or Spongebob, was only allowed to have Lunchables when I was at gymnastics camp (even then, my mother was not happy about it) but perhaps what was most detrimental to my childhood - I wasn’t allowed to have frosted Pop-Tarts. Plus, on the rare occasion that I was allowed to have Toaster Strudel, it was only the strawberry kind, only one, and minimal icing (I was 25 years old when I learned that an actual serving size of Toaster Strudel is 2 pastries, so thanks mom and dad).

But now, as a pseudo-adult, I can do whatever the heck I want - within reason. And on this lazy Sunday (which is also Mother’s Day), I wanted to make frosted pop-tarts. As this wasn’t quite planned, I didn’t really have the ingredients required to make actual, pretty toaster pastries - but look - I had a dough, a filling, and things to make a frosting.

We had fresh fruit, and while making a filling with those would’ve been infinitely better, ain’t nobody got time for that. I just wanted to eat.

So today, I give you - the laziest way to make those beloved toaster pastries in under 30 minutes, with what you probably already have in your fridge. They’re easy, messy looking, but perfectly tasty. Don and I will be remaking them in a Chopped-style bake off next weekend - using proper fruit filling and short crust.

ALSO, while I’m using the phrase “toaster pastry,” these don’t actually ever go into a toaster. I’m also one of those weirdos who prefers Pop-Tarts untoasted, and instead eaten straight out of those silver little sleeves.

INGREDIENTS

(makes 4 pastries)

1 package of refrigerated ready-made croissant dough

the jam/jelly/fruit spread of your choice

for the icing:

4oz. of cream cheese (softened, if mixing by hand)

½ cup powdered sugar

½ tsp. vanilla extract

sprinkles of your choice

INSTRUCTIONS

1. preheat the oven to 350 (or the temperature listed on your refrigerated dough)

2. on a lightly greased baking sheet (or baking mat/surface), roll out the sheet of the dough

3. lightly press a warm spoon over the existing perforations in the dough, so that you have one large rectangle without any perforations

4. with a knife or pizza cutter, slice the dough in 3 strips on the long side (so that you have four long rectangles), then cut them all in half. you should have 8 small rectangles

5. take about 1-1½ tbsp. of your fruit spread (I used peach preserve), and place it into the center of 4 of the dough slices. spread it around slightly, but keep it away from the very edges. the amount of fruit spread you choose to use can depend on the size of your dough - so if you feel you need to add more or less, go ahead!

6. use the remaining pieces of dough to cover the ones with fruit spread on them. it should basically resemble a large ravioli

7. seal the edges with your fingers, doing your best to ensure a tight seal to avoid the jam from leaking out (know that some inevitably will).

8. take a fork and press around the edges of each pastry

9. *optional: egg wash. I chose not to do an egg wash today, but if that’s what you prefer, simply mix one egg with a tablespoon of water, and brush it over each pastry.

10. bake for 12-15 minutes, until the dough is a light golden brown

11. while the pastries are cooling, start on the icing: in a small bowl, mix together the cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla, until whipped.

12. to make the icing more of a glaze, you can microwave it for short intervals, or simply put it into a saucepan over low heat until it’s reached the proper consistency.

13. once the pastries are warm (not hot), drizzle the icing/glaze over each one, and top with sprinkles.