we’ve been engaged for a year now, and planning a wedding during a pandemic is truly a wild time. mistakes were definitely made, especially when we first started, but there’s also so much that we’ve learned over the past year!

by far, the wedding budget is my least favorite topic. but when planning a wedding, regardless of size, finances are an incredibly important aspect to discuss.

on my instagram stories last week, I left a question box to give people a safe space to ask about wedding budgets - how to create them, stick to them, and everything in between. today on the blog, i’m answering some of those questions, and sprinkling in some extra advice. this is a big topic, so i’ll have a part two later this year.

RESEARCH, THEN BUDGET

first piece of advice is for sure this one! figure out the basics of your wedding first. on the knot’s website, you can scope out vendors in your area, and sometimes, they’ll have a price sheet available. or even on local vendors’ sites, you may be able to get an idea of their package options. i’m not saying CHOOSE your vendors right away, but map it out to see how much it could cost to have the style of wedding you both desire in your planned area. getting an average for your city/state can be helpful, but you can get a much better picture of what’s more realistic to your vision if you tailor your search. and if you have a number that’s a hard stop - again, the knot is really helpful in finding vendors at a range of prices.

what about going over budget?

basically, the first thing everyone will tell you is that you will go over budget. truly, when we first got engaged, my fiancé and I came up with a number that we though sounded reasonable. we went past within the first month, because we just didn’t know what we didn’t know. setting a number you aren’t willing to exceed for a specific vendor would be my best piece of advice if you’re working to stay within a certain number. break it down that way instead of doing one set number - know where you’ll be spending more, where you can be a little flexible, and where you can cut back. this is where researching your area FIRST comes into play.

how to cut your guest list?

between costs and COVID, cutting down the guest list, opting for a microwedding, minimony, or elopement have all become more viable options. if you haven’t sent out any save the dates or invites, it’s a little easier to trim the guest list - in the sense of not hurting others’ feelings, but it’s still truly difficult. there’s no easy way to do it. would your day be completely changed if you couldn’t celebrate with that person? would their absence - or presence - have a significant impact on your emotions and how you feel about that day? when was the last time you spoke to them, or saw them? (of course, the pandemic complicates that). if you aren’t (or can’t) opt for a simpler option like ‘immediate family only,” or limiting it to in-state guests due to restrictions - you have to put in the legwork and truly figure out who needs to be there. who will understand if they ultimately don’t get invited? also, consider streaming your wedding if that’s something you’re interested in - so those who can’t physically be present are still able to attend.

now if you’ve already sent out invites or save the dates, it’s obviously much trickier. I don’t have any personal experience with that, but have kept this episode of the betches brides podcast tucked away in the back of my mind, just in case.

how can I make it feel less daunting?

see above! break it down. figure out what’s the most important to you for your wedding. do you dream of a big wedding and need a large venue? do you want a smaller wedding but go all out on food options? we highlighted what was most important to us (photographer location, guest experience) first, and then went from there.

when looking at a vendor, and you get that initial sticker shock - look at what’s included. does your venue come with food and alcohol? if yes, that’s a caterer and/or bartender, and their associated costs, you don’t have to worry about - and it just might amount to the same price anyway. does the price for your DJ include MC services? what about a photobooth and lighting? again, adds to the price - but you’d have to pay someone else for it anyway.

HIGHLY recommend investing in your photographer. your wedding (in many cases) is one day. it goes by in a blur. when it’s all said and done - that’s the tangible part you’ll have left from the day.

prices are already going up because of how many weddings are happening this year, and how much business has already been lost to the pandemic. be intentional about your choices, and trust your gut. once you get more comfortable with your vision and what values you want to see reflected on your day, the budgeting comes a bit easier.

don’t turn to wedding/bride groups for everything

i’m in a few facebook groups for weddings and i’m constantly seeing people asking for “affordable” vendors. what’s affordable to one couple may be completely unattainable for another, and vice versa. if you’re going to ask these groups for help - be specific! give a price range, and skip the word “affordable,” it’ll just leave you with a bigger headache.

and on the topic of those groups - and honestly, with everything in planning - remember that your wedding is your wedding. what works for one couple may not work for you? just before writing this, I saw someone post a pinterest-y infographic about when to send out invitations - and the suggested timeframe would work for many, but for someone like me, that wouldn’t fit with the final headcount notice my venue requires. all that to say - remember what you see online is super subjective (including this very blog post) - and that ultimately, you truly know what’s best for your day.

TLDR, take a deep breath. take wedding advice with a grain of salt. only you can know what’s best for you, your wedding, your marriage, and of course - your budget.