answering a common engagement ring question

in the first week of being engaged, I started noticing a question that I didn’t really expect, but now get almost every time someone asks me about the ring: “did you help pick it out?”

honestly, I don’t know why I didn’t expect the question, but it just never occurred to me that it would be something I’d answer so frequently! and the answer is: yes and no.

yes, in the sense that over the course of our 8 years together, of course the topic of marriage came up, and so with it my ring preferences. though I always joked he could propose with a ring pop in a dumpster and I’d still say yes (which, yeah, I would), he knew what I liked and didn’t like when it came to what would ultimately be my engagement ring.

no, in that I did not choose my ring, I didn’t go with him to look at options, I provided no input other than what I’d mentioned over the years, and my ring size in the months leading up to our engagement (he’d asked me before for other rings, so it didn’t raise any suspicions). he really did choose it all on his own, but again, he knew what I would like and what was important to me! I

I think that the element of surprise in a proposal is wonderful, and for me, personally, I wouldn’t have wanted to go ring shopping with him, or fully chosen my ring ahead of time. but that’s me! I know a lot of couples have chosen/designed the ring together, and that’s beautiful and fun, just not for me. with that said, engagement rings are an investment, financially speaking, so having your partner know what you like (or what you don’t like) is really important.

communicating with your partner about something that’s intended to be a surprise, or from the other side, you may not want to constantly bring up or hint drop - can be delicate. we discussed it over the years actively in direct conversation, and passively with…a pinterest board. yep. I had a secret, shared board that he could access that had ideas of ring styles I liked. I deleted the board not long after its creation, but between visuals and what I said over the years, he clearly picked up on my preferences: a solitaire stone, round or cushion cut, pave band, and 6-prong setting. he knew which of the 4 Cs (cut, clarity, color, carat) were the most important to me, that I wanted a natural diamond (a opposed to another gemstone or lab-created) and - and boy did he deliver. I can honestly say that if I had gone with him to pick something out - I would’ve chosen this exact ring. I really believe that the conversations around the ring don’t have to be awkward at all, just sharing preferences so you both know! and if you don’t know what you like, honestly pinterest and instagram are great places to start to get ideas about shapes, stones, and learning more about what qualities you like.

he ultimately chose a white gold verragio ring with a pave band, and an excellent grade round center stone that tells me that he knows his 4 Cs and what I prioritized. part of the band itself is reminiscent of an infinity symbol, something personal to our relationship, and the setting resembles a tiara. he would later tell me that those details kept drawing him back to this particular ring each time he looked, and what solidified his decision to choose it. again, I truly would’ve done the same thing.

pictures taken by: laurelcreative.com